idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
