he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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