it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
