what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Randomize
