She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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