i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
