so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
