You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
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scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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