whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
