I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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