THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize