Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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