We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
