i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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