We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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