ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
