goodnight i made you a song goodbye
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
