Nicole vs. Life
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
All the doctor said was why
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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