No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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