I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
