Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Randomize
