You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
