Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I just found puke in my bra..
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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