Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
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It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
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My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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