this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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