I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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