"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
