I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
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