All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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