This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
