After last night, I could never be a politician.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
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