its not stalking. its research.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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