I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
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