I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
not ubering you a puppy
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
