More tranny stories later!
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
