I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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