Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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