i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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