Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
