I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
