i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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