my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how my cats smell like pot.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize