Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I just want to make out with him forever
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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