I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Randomize