May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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