I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
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Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
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When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
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