He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
