My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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