Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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