I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
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We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
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I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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