She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
