I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
