He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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