man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
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