oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
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I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
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I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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