when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Houston, we have a blender
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
