so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
