i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
