Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
