i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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