So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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