I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I think a kid would responsible me up
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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