Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
