Are we in a gay sports bar?
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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