they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
