If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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