so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
