Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
