Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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