VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
