The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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