Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
