Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
